In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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