i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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