So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
