What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
