Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
