I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She tied me up with her honor cords...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
