I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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