she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He shit in the fireplace
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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