Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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