i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
