Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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