I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
