dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Also, beer. Big fan.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
