I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
