what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
