dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Did you pee in the oven last night??
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
