Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
