DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
