he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
