she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
