i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
