You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
