Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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