This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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