whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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