I'm jealous of your bromance
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
