You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize