Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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