I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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