Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
