How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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