It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This can only be settled by a dance off.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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