He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
