We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My feet surprised me
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
