Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
