I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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