if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
