We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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