at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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