This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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