belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
