I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
