Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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