Dual....:-)
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The air was thick with penises
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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