So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
