You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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