If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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