She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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