? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
