If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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