I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize