should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
