dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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