My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
