shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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