i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
