he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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