dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
