The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
