Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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