i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
