why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
