I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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