Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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