Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
