Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
