I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
