We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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