i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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