Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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