More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize