it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize